Children often mirror their parents. We try to teach our children to do the right things and to stay calm in stressful situations however we, their parents, often lose our cool when they push our buttons too hard. This often leads to us acting in ways we would definitely not want to see from them. And oh boy do they know how push buttons.
This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link.
There was a day when I was trying to get through the daily cleaning to do’s. My kids were doing their own thing for a while but soon they were making messes and disabling the work I had already done. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle and my kids were just not cooperating.
They were pestering me every time I turned around. and then they really started pestering each other as well. My daughter started invading my sons bubble space by putting her hands in his face and so he took his rather weighty arm and whacked her in the face.
I had reached my breaking point and I grabbed them both by their arms separated them rather too quickly from each other and yelled at them in an angry rage. For the next hour they both sat pouting sadly with anger in their small hearts.
The look on both of their faces left a feeling of dissatisfaction within me. I was more concerned with my to do list then my children. All they wanted was to spend some time with me and I couldn’t focus my mind on anything other than stupid household chores.
I decided that I needed to change something.
When I did some research and found out that modeling is the way to handle an aggressive child in the most positive way possible while also building a better disciplinary routine.
What modeling is is when you feel like yelling instead of allowing yourself to go straight to it say instead as calmly as possible “You are making me feel like yelling right now. I really don’t want to do that so please go sit down so I can calm down and I will come over and talk to you in a moment.”
This switches my behavior from outbursts and anger to reasoning and anger management. My behavior was previously not something which I wanted my children to follow.
Now my new behavior has not been 100% ideal, I am human after all, but the new communication has definitely helped to change the way my kids interact with each other. Instead of hitting his sister when she gets in his space he tells her, “You are making me want to hit you.”
Comment with a time you lost control of your anger below!