Children can be difficult. Often times they are the most difficult relationships in our lives. Think about how often you find yourself thinking “My Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!” I know that I have often let this thought creep into my mind.
The problem may just be us. Our kids may make bad choices and perform bad actions, but our responses to them we get to choose. If we act out then those responses are our bad actions.
We try to teach our children that 2 wrongs don’t make a right but we need to apply that lesson to ourselves as well.
Strangers vs. Loved Ones.
When we are out in public with strangers there are often many annoying things and people who cross our paths. The next time you are out be sure to pay attention to how you act towards the annoyances other put into your path.
Most of us show more patience towards complete strangers than we do our own kin. What is our excuse? My Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!
The little boy who runs over your foot in the store and says sorry gets an “its ok,” but if our own kid does it all hell breaks loose.
Taking a step back
We need to reevaluate why we think “my kids are driving me nuts.” Why do we show more kindness to the children of others than we do to our own children?
We know what their potential is and therefore hold them to a different set of standards. This is not fair. They are children and they are learning still. It doesn’t matter how smart they are, scientifically they are underdeveloped emotionally, physically, educationally and socially.
They are kids! They are our kids! We wouldn’t let anyone else treat them this way so why should we be?
We need to take a step back and understand that the stresses in our lives are not just caused by them but by ourselves as well.
Our children’s negative choices or their negligence shouldn’t lead us to think “my kids are driving me crazy.” Everyday things around us cause us stress and most of it comes from things not related to our children. For instance in a single day we may have woken up late, been late to work, gotten yelled at by the boss, spilled some coffee on our shirt, gotten cutoff on the way home, received more bills in the mail and then finally stepped on an out of place toy.
Why should all the happenings of the day come out at our children? You probably wouldn’t talk to your boss the way you do to your kids so why do you? The answer is simple: We lose control. Children are not a threat. They can’t fire us or wreak our car or cancel our credit card so they get the outburst.
We need to learn coping devices in order to stop ourselves from losing control.
How do we do this?
Every time you think “my kids are driving me nuts” write down what it was that caused you to think it. Keep a little 99 cent notebook of your thoughts about these things and how you reacted. We lose control when we don’t understand what is happening in our lives.
We need friends to talk to and we need to have a better understanding and view of our relationship with out kids.
By learning your triggers and understanding why they cause you stress you can go through a type of self development and start on the path to change your reactions. Even really bad situations like your kid ditching school is handled much better by a conversation and reasonable punishment than it is by a screaming match.
Improvement should be something which we never stop seeking in our lives and who better to improve for than our children.